Expert answer
Feeling down for months while repeatedly pushing people away can be deeply confusing—and it’s understandable to wonder whether this points to something like borderline personality disorder (BPD). Many people with BPD experience intense emotional pain and fear of abandonment, which can unintentionally lead to behaviors that push others away. That doesn’t mean you have BPD, but your concerns are valid and worth exploring.
What might this pattern suggest?
Persistent low mood combined with relationship struggles—especially if you fear being abandoned yet act in ways that create distance—can align with features of BPD. Other common signs include rapid mood swings, unstable self-image, impulsive actions, or intense anger that’s hard to control. However, these experiences also overlap with depression, anxiety, or past trauma, so professional assessment is key.
A few things to reflect on today
Ask yourself:
- Do I often feel empty or numb inside?
- When someone I care about seems distant, do I react strongly—maybe by lashing out or cutting them off first?
- Have my relationships felt chaotic or short-lived, even when I wanted them to last?
- Do I sometimes act on impulse when upset (e.g., spending sprees, substance use, risky behavior)?
If several of these resonate, it may be helpful to look deeper.
The MindCheck borderline personality test is designed by the MindCheck clinical team to turn vague feelings into understandable results. It won’t give a diagnosis, but it can help clarify whether your experiences align with patterns commonly seen in BPD.
Next steps aren’t about labeling—they’re about relief
Whether or not BPD is involved, your pain matters. Pushing people away often comes from a place of self-protection, not malice. Therapy—especially dialectical behavior therapy (DBT)—has strong evidence for helping people regulate emotions, build stable relationships, and reduce self-sabotage.
Remember: only a qualified mental health professional can assess for personality disorders. This information is not a substitute for professional diagnosis or treatment.